SHFT nuc on stepping away from competitive League: "I barely spoke to my family [and friends]. It was just LoL, me, my demons and the team"

After securing their first victory of the Summer Split, salvaged some pride in the penultimate match of their season by defeating Team Heretics. Already eliminated from playoff contention, the Swiss organization at least managed to end its campaign on a positive note, as did its midlaner, .

The French player recently announced in a lengthy post on his X account that he had decided to take a break following the end of the season. As a result, the LEC veteran, who has been part of the league for more than five years, will not be returning to competition next year. In an interview with Sheep Esports, he explained the reasons behind his decision.

Ilias “nuc” Bizriken: “I think the fact that I’ve barely experienced those feelings over the past two years is a major part of it. Ultimately, why do I do this job? It’s precisely to experience those kinds of emotions. That’s what fuels my passion and gives me the motivation to push myself every single day. And over the past two years, the fact that… Two years is a very long time. Especially when you’re constantly losing, and considering the issues I was dealing with in 2025. Two years is a very long time. Not experiencing those emotions, the very reason you do this job, starts to numb you, I’d say. It numbs you mentally. I think that plays a role. It’s not entirely because of that, but it definitely plays a part.

nuc: I’d already had these thoughts in 2025, as I mentioned in my tweet. At least, throughout 2025. And I was thinking, “I’m going to give it one final year and give it everything I have.” I really tried my best to question myself as much as possible and understand why things hadn’t worked in 2025. Because they really didn’t work. In terms of the team, the environment, and everything else. So I reflected on it and tried to put things in order for 2026, and the result was that things didn’t go well either. I’ve already experienced something similar, back in 2021–2022, when I was at the bottom of the standings with Schalke. But I was at the beginning of my career back then.

I still had that drive. I still had the desire. I could have done this for five years, I didn’t care. I wanted to experience success at least once, to feel proud of myself at least once, and give it everything I had. And now, the problem is that these two years have been extremely difficult mentally. And I have other options in life in general. Esports is something I love, something I would give my whole heart to but I feel too strong a need to explore new things. Not just streaming, because that’s the easiest option and the one that gives me the most immediate enjoyment. But I want to explore different areas of life, to develop myself as a human being. Basically, to grow as a person in every way possible. And I have the opportunity to do that and that doesn’t take anything away from my desire to compete.

It doesn’t take anything away from the passion I have for the game. I just need to take this break to reset. Otherwise, if I keep going and keep pushing myself, I’m just not going to be okay mentally.

nuc: Well, at least personally, I don’t think I have any regrets about my career or about the fact that, when I commit myself to something, I put everything else aside. When I started in esports, everything outside of my team bubble simply stopped existing. That’s not particularly healthy from a psychological perspective. As a human being, you always need some sense of security and stability in different areas of your life and I chose to go all-in, 24/7. That’s what I did for five years. I barely spoke to my family. I would hardly talk to them during the season. The same goes for my friends. It was just LoL, me, my demons - positive or negative - and the team.

It’s something that has started to wear me down. And I know that if I’m competing, I’m not going to be able to change that overnight. I’m always going to be like this. So that’s another reason pushing me to take a break. I want to talk to my parents regularly, see my friends, develop healthier relationships, simply become more of a well-rounded human being. This job gives us a lot of positives but it takes other things away from us. That’s how I see it. It’s about developing yourself as a human being.

Socially, I mean, we don’t choose this profession for no reason. We’re all a little strange in our own ways. We struggle with a lot of things in life, across many different areas. And I simply want to work on developing those parts of myself.

nuc: In esports, I don’t think it’s properly addressed. It’s something that tends to be pushed aside, I’d say. Riot, in general, has actually tried to do some things. I remember that at the beginning of 2026, they introduced something related to mental health, but I still think it’s something that simply isn’t talked about enough. The mental side is always treated a bit like “They’re players, they make good money,” and so on. Which is true, we have a lot of very positive aspects to this career, and every player is extremely grateful for them. Nevertheless, it depends on the individual, but for some people, this job can be extremely demanding.

I want to speak from a personal perspective because that’s how I feel, and I’m someone who takes things very much to heart. I can’t differentiate between Ilias and nuc. To me, they’re the same person. When I’m at the training facility, I’m nuc, and when I leave and do something else, I’m Ilias. But I can’t separate those two identities. So if things are going well in esports, everything in my life feels like it’s going well. If things go badly, it’s catastrophic, because I lose my sense of identity. I can’t find myself, and I can’t value myself, which is incredibly difficult as a human being to be unable to see your own worth. That’s why these past two years have been so difficult. I struggled to find myself, simply. As I said, there are a million reasons why I made this decision, and this is just one small part of it.

nuc: For me, it would only be the LEC. I’ve experienced it for four or five years of my life, and I still consider myself good enough to play there. For me, it’s the LEC because that’s where I feel the strongest emotions and where I enjoy myself the most. As I said in my tweet, I’m fully aware of the risks. Taking a break as a professional player is a significant decision because organizations might be hesitant. They might wonder how committed you still are, what you want to do, and so on, but I also made very clear that desire hasn’t disappeared. I’ve simply reached a level of saturation where I need to step back, find myself again, make sure I know what I want to do, and simply reset.

I’m going to keep playing LoL. I’ll continue training because I still love that part of the job. But the competition, the bad results… If things had been going well, I wouldn’t be in this state. But the results and everything surrounding them have pushed me to my limit. And yes, I simply need time. Realistically, I should still be at the same level. At the very least, I’ll maintain my form. And if I get the opportunity, I’ll come back. If I feel good, if I feel like I’m in a good place.

nuc: I think what I’ll remember most is the entire journey. It’s not really the results themselves. In 2023, we made Worlds, reached an LEC final, and reached some very high points. In 2024, we were consistently a top-three team, and we were reverse-swept G2. There are so many great memories and so many terrible moments. But what I focus on the most is the journey itself.

Objectively speaking, if I go back to the beginning of 2021, I was thrown into the LEC because of the whole situation involving Schalke and Abbedagge (Felix Braun). I wasn’t ready at all. I was nowhere near LEC level. I basically just had mechanical hands, but I didn’t understand the game itself. I had two terrible years. I was supposed to be replaced at the end of 2022. Luckily, I was able to stay. This resilience, that willingness to keep putting in the work until the very end and never give up, I think that’s what I’ll remember most. The thing I’m most proud of is that I never gave up, regardless of the situation.

That allowed me to reach 2023 and 2024, when I had found my identity, as I mentioned earlier. My identity, my sense of self-worth. I was able to value myself and feel proud of myself. Even in 2025 and 2026, when things went very badly again, it was different because I understood the game in a completely different way than I did in 2021–2022. I’m still proud of some of the things we accomplished.

For example, with the different rosters we had, there were plenty of moments when we beat G2, like during Winter 2025. There were lots of small moments like that, little victories. Behind the scenes, in 2025, we put in a huge number of hours. If I can put it that way, we put in a lot of hours. So, in some respects, it did pay off. I’m simply proud. Resilience is the main thing I take away from it.”